What does it mean to take responsibility? My favorite description of the word, responsibility, is "the ability to respond". This means that when something happens we are willing to be fully accountable, answer for our conduct, and take action based on the circumstances. It is not the burden that we might think it to be but one of taking our power and choosing the most appropriate response. A responsible person is aware of their motives as well as the potential outcomes of their behavior. When we are fully responsible, we increase our ability to connect with our authentic power. Blaming is when we turn the meaning of the word responsibility around and project it onto others. Instead of looking inside for the source of our difficulties, we hold others accountable for the errors that we perceive. We blame each other, institutions and even inanimate objects. People blame society, or the government, or television or computers. Teachers blame parents, parents blame teachers, spouses blame spouses, and the list goes on. Kids learn to blame by watching the adults around them practice this irresponsible and immature behavior. Try this exercise ...Take a couple of long, slow breaths, allowing yourself to relax completely. Remember the last time you blamed someone or something for an incident that happened in your life. Allow this situation to come to you spontaneously. It might be a complex experience or something simple. Make it as real as possible, remembering who was there and what was happening. How do you feel... physically and emotionally? Now, remember a time when you took full responsibility for a situation that took place. Repeat the same process of remembering and tuning into your feelings. How you feel in this situation? Compare the two experiences and see what you can learn about yourself, your reactions and your feelings. In one situation you might have felt angry, contracted and powerless. In the other you may feel more powerful and expansive, even if the situation was difficult. Here is where you can connect to choices and your ability to choose a powerful and responsive life. Though your responsibilities and obligations are very real and pressing, they do not have to burden you. For when you are willing to accept responsibility for something, you put yourself in control of it. Ralph Marston |
