During my 10 years of dating after my divorce at age 41, I cant count the number of times I got discouraged about whether the right one would ever appear. I dated man after man and had disappointment after disappointment. Sometimes, I felt I was getting closer to the best mate for me. Other times, I took three steps backward before I took another step forward. It was frustrating, sometimes infuriating, and now and then depressing. But, despite everything, I never gave up hope that I would meet a compatible long-term partner. And Im totally convinced that this firm belief that there was someone out there just right for me was a key determinant of my success in meeting my second husband.

Often, when I coach people trying to find a life partner, especially those over 40 whove been burned either in a marriage or a string of disappointing relationships, despair is common. I hear comments such as I feel nothing is ever going to change, Im not sure Ill ever meet anyone who excites me, and I wonder if Ill ever find someone whos emotionally available. Instead of making me sad, the sense of hopelessness reflected in these statements makes me more determined to help these people see and believe that there definitely IS hope for them to find love.

I believe theres a match for everyone, no matter where you live, how old you are or how limited your dating experience. This optimism carried me through some rocky roads of post-divorce dating. Sure, its a jungle out there sometimes, but thats no need to give up hope. They say you have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince, and in the over-40 dating world, you might have to kiss more than a few. You might also have to put some real effort and time (and even money) into finding that person since many of the good ones are already taken by that age. But nothing worthwhile is ever easy. And all good things come to those who wait. So it pays to be realistic, proactive and patient as you pursue your partner.

If you doubt that youll find a partner, consider this:

1) There are LOTS of fish in the dating sea. For example, there are over 850 online dating sites in the U.S. alone, some with millions of members, so there are PLENTY of single people out there looking. The Law of Averages says there is definitely at least ONE person you could love.

2) You have many qualities attractive to any number of prospective partners. So, you can deduce that you also have just the right mix of certain unique attributes that will appeal specifically to at least one wonderful partner.

3) As in sales, its a numbers game. Youll get 9 nos before you get a yes. So, the more people you meet, the closer youll get to a match.

4) The only reasons you may not have met your partner yet is that hes still getting ready for you or just hasnt crossed your path. Being patient while he prepares and varying the places you go are two ways to attract him.

By keeping these facts in mind and staying active in your search for a partner, itll be easier to believe that person DOES exist and will soon come into your world. Keep the faith!