When couples first meet they are infatuated with one another. Everything seems blissful and destined for constant happiness. Each partner in the relationship is unable to find fault in the other. However, after a few spats many couples are prone to cut and run. They do not have the patience to endure and work things out. They are unable to exit the infatuation stage. They do not realize that unconditional love germinates through successfully overcoming adversity. True, lasting love often is achieved only after time, pain, heartache, joy and after enduring many challenges.

Most engagements face many challenges. The business side of planning the wedding can consume each partner. Partners raise their voices at one another. Little affection exists between them. Each partner might tell each they love each other, but their actions do not prove it. Engaged couples can get so caught up in such things as the decorations for the reception and finding a place to live that they forget to take a little time out just for them to have the kind of fun they enjoyed together while they were dating.

The following are eight essential ingredients for handling the trials of courtship:

1. Do not raise your voice with one another. Any disagreement can be negotiated in soft tones. Raising your voice often incites more anger.

2. Constantly reassure one another. The flame of love can dim without consistent assurance. If you are prompted to say something nice about your potential spouse, do it immediately. Sincere compliments can put to rest any lingering doubts your possible companion may have.

3. Do more than just say you love each other. Serve one another. Do little things that show your love like leaving phone messages or writing each other cards for no reason. Make lunches for one another. Do each others laundry. It is amazing how serving can alleviate your worries and help you love your future mate even more.

4. Encourage one another in school work and other pursuits. You should be your fiances No. 1 cheerleader. Uphold each other in one anothers responsibilities such as school work, employment, and family. This encouragement can help ease discouragement.

5. Listen attentively to one another's problems. A future spouse should be the first person you turn to when you have a problem. Listen to one another. Acknowledge that you are listening by asking find out questions. Try to empathize, and if that is not possible, sympathize with your potential spouses trials. Reassure them using experiences from your own life. Open and honest communication is vital in dating and marriage relationships.

6. Continue to go on dates during your engagement period. Just because you have found the one does not mean you do not have to take them out on the town anymore. Going out is an excellent way to forget about other worries such as planning the wedding.

7. Never put off working through a disagreement. When you disagree on something, do not avoid your potential spouse nor give he or she the silent treatment. If a quarrel arises, confront it then and there. Holding grudges can be devastating. Do not let ill feelings toward your companion build up inside of you. Never go to bed angry with one another.

8. Pray together. Each night before you say goodbye, no matter where you are, kneel down and pray together. It reminds you of the spiritual aspect of your relationship and keeps things in better perspective. Ask God to support you and deliver you through your trials.

Satan knows our potential and does not want us to realize it. He will do all he can to thwart us in our righteous pursuits, especially marriage. If there is one thing the adversary would like to destroy, it is the family. One of the main ways Satan will try to destroy a potentially good relationship is by increasing the propensity to find fault in one another. One of the main problems counselors observe is when one of the partners in the marriage relationship thinks that if his or her spouse would change one or two things, everything would be fine. This notion is reminiscent of the beam and the moat analogy from Christs Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 7:3-5.

Many husbands, wives, fiances, boyfriends and girlfriends feel nothing is wrong with them and that the problem lies with the other person in the relationship. This view is flawed. Partners with this attitude must kick the pedestal from underneath them, humble themselves, and realize that they have problems, too. To find the right person you must be the right person and continue to be the right person. Engaged and married couples cannot be seperate people. They must focus on God and His commandments, which will bring them closer together until they are one.