I am your president. At the touch of a button I can activate the deadliest war machine ever created. The entire nation is at my personal service. I shall lack nothing, ever. But you need not fear me, for I am a Christian man and a very righteous man indeed. I keep the commandments like the rich man but I too, would not be perfect. I love God. I love my neighbor and I love my enemies as Jesus said to do. I just dont want to talk to any of them. I use them all to fight my wars, tee hee. My wars! What am I talking about? I mean OUR wars. The hole in my spirit could not be filled with alcohol, could not be filled with Jesus, could not be filled by wealth and power. What is a righteous man to do? I have it, by Jesus! Yeaaaah, thats the ticket. Ill follow the example of my American brothers and sisters. Ill pretend nothings wrong. Yeaaaah, thats the ticket. I will act like a president. I can fool you all. I cant lose. Millions of Christians praying every day I dont further embarrass them. Surely God hears them. All my Christian brothers and sisters know if Jesus were president, everything would be the same as it is. Although there probably wouldnt be an Arab standing and just one hundred, forty four thousand Christian Jews. Whether you know it or not, God is on my side and he told me to use my own judgment, I swear it. He told me. Dont you go talking to evil doers, kick their sorry arses. And if I dont do what Im told, how do you think I got to be president? And hey! How about my brothers and sisters in Congress? Oh sure, they kick up a fuss and call me names, but they give me whatever I want. They cant afford to anger my God and have no clue what else to do. I tell you, there has never been a president whos had it so good. I think if there was another Al Qaeda attack, my popularity would again soar. Think Ill call Osama and see what hes up to lately. If anyone has suffered loss to fulfill my Christian love, just know that Jesus sacrifice was not quite sufficient to protect an America God no longer hears. In fact, I am the very best my country can do or have. When they are righteous people, like me, they will have more righteous leaders. If the Lord was their shepherd, we wouldnt need Homeland Security, would we? So me and my buddies in Congress are the shepherds, we own the shears and we never, ever go hungry. What a happy coincidence! Two and a half years. We only have to hang in two and a half years. You can do it brothers and sisters, you can do it. I have faith in you. Then someone else can clean up OUR mess. I think it should be Hilary and Bill Clinton, how about you? Id like to tell you more but I have tickets to a Spin Doctors concert. Honestly Yours, Mr. President (PUBLISHERS! Free Promotion Here - Now! If you will leave a comment and your URL or hyperlink on this or any article of mine: 1.) Some of my on - site readers will visit your website. 2.) I will visit your website. If I like what I find, I will write a positive review and publish it here at EzineArticles. You may delete this generous offer when re - publishing this article.) |
