Have you ever been to a networking event that was awkward, frustrating and nothing more than a business card exchange?

In his book MANHATTAN SOCIETY: The Art & Spirituality of Networking, Chris London says "Networking with integrity creates a greater willingness of all parties to be part of a human conduit to serve as energy and resource to one another. Sometimes you will give more than you receive and sometimes you will get back more than you give. Its not about keeping score." Networking is about giving first.

To make the most of networking events, approach them like you would a cocktail party. Go with the intention of being social and making friends. In her book How to Work a Room (Quill, 2000) Susan Roane uses something she calls the Ro Ane Mingling Mantra: Small talk, small talk, small talk. Even if I have an agenda, nobody gives a flying fig about it. People care about having a connected conversation the focus of networking is connections with peoplenot what they can buy from us.

Once you meet people you like, think of ways to help them. This does two things; identifies you as a person who adds value and gives you instant credibility, especially if you dont know the contact well. Here are five ways to help your contacts:

1. If the contact is a vendor, and you know someone who can use their services, give them an introduction.
2. Send your contacts journal articles you think they would find useful.
3. If you receive free tickets to concerts, conventions or sporting events, instead of using them yourself, offer them to a contact.
4. Go the extra mile. I once volunteered to set up a partners home computer. He eventually left the company, but we stayed in touch. When I let him know I needed a new position he made a phone call on my behalf that resulted in an interview.
5. Ask what your contacts biggest challenge is. Then do a little research on the topic and send them the results.

Networking by giving changes the dynamic of almost all future interactions. Laid off recently, I called everyone I knew to let them know I was in need of a new position. The response was nearly one hundred percent positive and has netted me three interviews so far!

Inventory who you know, make a consistent effort to meet new people and dont forget to find ways to help them. In the words of original success author Robert Collier: You have to sow before you can reap. You have to give before you can get. Network now!

Helena Bouchez

Helena Bouchez is President of Helena B Communications, which provides conversational, clear, goal-driven copy for press releases, marketing materials, case studies, web content and more, to clients in the Chicago area and beyond.

She has nearly twenty years of business experience including six years as associate director of IT for one of the largest advertising agencies in Chicago.

A writer, musician, artist, and teacher, she holds B.A. in Art from Wayne State University and a Certificate in Business Administration from University of Illinois Chicago Center for Entrepreneurship.