1) Leave the relationship

This is the most common alternative chosen, and the reason for our high divorce rate. Our culture teaches that this is an easy choice to make, with little or no consequences. My experience as a relationship coach and a marriage counselor tells me that the opposite is true, divorce can be one of the most wrenching experiences in life.

2) Stay in the relationship and be unhappy.

Many couples stay together and are miserable for many years. They are going to live out "til death do us part" hoping the other person goes soon enough to be able to enjoy a little bit of life. I believe this is when people begin to die on the inside. It is really not a great option, yet many people will settle for this one.

3) Let go of the problem

It is possible to simply let go of the problem. People do this when they realize the relationship is more important than their requirement, or if it is an area of growth. You may grow past the requirement, or choose the relationship over the requirement. You have to make sure, however, that you can let go of the problem or requirement without "committing personality suicide."

4) Compromise

When you compromise you give up some of what you need, while still getting some of what you need, in order to meet in the middle. Since requirements can be very black and white, either/or, this can be a difficult challenge. One of the most difficult parts of this challenge is being able to see the options that are available to the couple. One way to say this is that you don't know what you don't know. This can be a good time to hire a counselor or relationship coach to help you examine the options creatively and objectively and negotiate something that works for both of you, and is sustainable in the long run.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com