Nothing develops or displays your character better than your desire to put others first. As our friend Zig Ziglar says, The best way to get what you want out of life is to help others get what they want. Empathy and genuine concern encourage communication. When someone feels love or unconditional acceptance, they will be open to your influence. To be this open, people have to know that you empathize with their situation. Empathy has Latin and Greek roots. The two parts of the word mean to see through and the eye of the other. Seeing through the eye of another creates long-term influence. When people know that you can see what they see, feel what they feel, hurt the way they hurt, then they will be willing to be influenced by you. The whole world is full of people trying to make us do things for their reasons. All we need to do is pause to understand who we are dealing with, what they are thinking, and why they are thinking those things. Once we understand these principles, we have empathy and the door of influence swings wide open. If you have a hard time empathizing with others then youre not alone. This skill is not learned in school or on the streets. We learn empathy by really caring about the people we help and serve. Modern life doesnt give us many opportunities to serve others. So, you must turn to those you work with and look for opportunities to serve them and their needs. When a client feels his representative really cares about him, understands him, and would never sell him anything he would not need, that persuader has a customer for life. In fact, he doesnt need to sell anymore. He has established such a high level of influence that all he needs to do is present the product and the deal is done. Empathy and caring are part of having humility. When you are humble, you demonstrate to others that you are not driven by ego and pride, nor are you out to get the best for yourself. If you need to find ways to develop empathy, ask yourself the following questions:
-How would I feel if I were that person?
-Why is that person feeling this way?
-How can I help?
-How would I feel if that happened to me? Basically, be sure to always consider the universal needs of everyone: approval, attention, praise, encouragement, understanding, and acceptance. When you accept the whole person unconditionally, you create empathy. You accept their strengths and triumphs along with their weaknesses, failures, doubts, and fears. We can learn a lot about empathy from the ancient classic, Tao-te-Ching, by Lao-tzu: Evolved leaders win the trust and support of the people through their complete identification with them. The interests of people are naturally promoted because they become the interests of the leader as well. When you have a skeptical audience or prospect, analyze and implement these ten points. a) Be sure your appearance is polished and professional. How do you appear to your audience? Do you appear self-assured and in control of the situation? Do you maintain good eye contact? b) Use highly credible and believable sources, facts, statistics, and stories. Cite evidence, identify sources, and give source qualifications. Write and publish relevant articles or a book. c) Research your audience. Be sure you explain the issue in terms that are relevant to them. Demonstrate you have their best interest in mind. d) Explain your background, expertise, and qualifications so they know why you have the credibility to even speak to them on the subject. Display or promote your qualifications. They confer status and expertise. e) Adopt a language and style suitable to the listener, the topic, and the setting. Watch vocal fillers like um, er, and ah. They detract from the message and your credibility. Use assertive language. f) Emphasize your similarities in a way that makes them relevant. Listeners find it easier to identify with sources they perceive as similar to themselves. Use similar industries, colleges, home states, and professional sports teams anything to strike a chord of familiarity. Familiarity breeds rapport. g) Have another high credibility individual (in the eyes of your audience) introduce you. Testimonials substantiate your expertise. Find third party testimonials that endorse your position. h) Be prepared, organized, and know your position. Make that great first impression. Make sure your presentation is rehearsed and polished. Educate, inspire, and entertain with passion, compassion, and purpose. i) Make sure any printed material or literature has been carefully proofread and presented in a neat and professional manner. Nothing detracts from your credibility more than sloppy supplemental material. Make sure all your material is appropriate and understandable. j) Be prompt. People who are always showing up late are considered less competent, composed, and sociable than people who arrive on time. Conclusion
Learning how to persuade and influence will make the difference between hoping for a better income and having a better income. It is the missing puzzle piece that will crack the code to dramatically increase your income, improve your relationships, and help you get what you want, when you want, and win friends for life. Ask yourself how much money and income you have lost because of your inability to persuade and influence. Think about it. Sure youve seen some success, but think of the times you couldnt get it done. Has there ever been a time when you did not get your point across? Were you unable to convince someone to do something? Have you reached your full potential? Are you able to motivate yourself and others to achieve more and accomplish their goals? What about your relationships? Imagine being able to overcome objections before they happen, know what your prospect is thinking and feeling, feel more confident in your ability to persuade. |
